It could certainly be worse. Parts of this 4 part series on youtube put tears in my eyes...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
It's Been a While, I wish I'd Been Less Confused by Now
I've been reading a lot of bi sites. websites that have lots of info with great people that are more than willing to help, share, talk when a person has trouble, whatever. Those sites have been wonderful.
The one thing I cannot seem to shake is the one thing that I see questions asked about on most bi websites, and that is the question of fluidity. Of course I first thought that I might be the only one, but I have learned after much reading that this type of coming and going is quite common. I see many bi guys that can label themselves quite easily when it comes to their attraction between men/women to be something like 20/80, 30/70, 40/60, 50/50, 60/40, 70/40, 80/20, and more in either direction and in between. Of course I can label myself one of these fractions, one of these fucking numbers, but the damn things change every damn day. It seems like I fluctuate between 40/80 to 80/40 every 5 to 10 weeks. I feel like a bag blowing in the wind right now, wishing I could settle somewhere. Though, as soon as I settle for a second, another gust comes by and picks me up and shuffles me along. It's certainly frustrating. I guess this is life though. It scares me though. A relationship seems like such a task to undertake when I feel like that bag, flowing around in the wind.
I guess I need to just get used to it, the calm wind will probably never come. However, if that is the case, where do I go from here?........
The one thing I cannot seem to shake is the one thing that I see questions asked about on most bi websites, and that is the question of fluidity. Of course I first thought that I might be the only one, but I have learned after much reading that this type of coming and going is quite common. I see many bi guys that can label themselves quite easily when it comes to their attraction between men/women to be something like 20/80, 30/70, 40/60, 50/50, 60/40, 70/40, 80/20, and more in either direction and in between. Of course I can label myself one of these fractions, one of these fucking numbers, but the damn things change every damn day. It seems like I fluctuate between 40/80 to 80/40 every 5 to 10 weeks. I feel like a bag blowing in the wind right now, wishing I could settle somewhere. Though, as soon as I settle for a second, another gust comes by and picks me up and shuffles me along. It's certainly frustrating. I guess this is life though. It scares me though. A relationship seems like such a task to undertake when I feel like that bag, flowing around in the wind.
I guess I need to just get used to it, the calm wind will probably never come. However, if that is the case, where do I go from here?........
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)